I am on a Roll

Rod wedding pic.jpg

Spinal Cord Injury Day is celebrated on 5th September every year with the intention of increasing awareness amongst the general public. So this time I decided to do a little writing about my dear friend.

Just to celebrate and join the party.

Spinal cord injury (SCI) awarded me with a very visible disability. Yes, I can’t walk. I rely on a wheelchair to get around. That is kind of obvious, but there is much more than that.

Apart from being paralyzed from nipples down, I also lost control of my bladder and bowel, I have spasticity, sexual dysfunction, long-lasting chronic neuropathic pain, repeatedly fights against UTIs due the daily use of catheters, anxiety, depression and the list goes on and on...

Its sounds pretty shit doesn't it? 

Well, not really. Since SCI showed up in my life (without invitation), I become a much more optimistic person. I am patient, more flexible, more resilient, more aware (specially more aware of death, knowing that shit happens all the time, now I hardly ever take anything for granted), therefore more grateful, more strong, actually much stronger. 

I realized I can do a lot more and I can handle whatever life brings me. I can easily put a Leonard Cohen’s record on and patiently just deal with it. Whatever it might be. I have what it takes to go through any life situation I may encounter in the future.

I am a strong loving-life motherfucker.

Even if I don’t get to do all the stuff I use to do before I got hurt. I am fine with that. And that’s the thing. I am fine. With all the challenges and the setbacks, if you really put it on the 'balance', SCI gave me more than it took. Maybe I am being a bit too positive here but I like to think in that way.

I believe that after my long months of rehabilitation trying to fix my body, which unfortunately has no way to be fixed, not yet at least. I began to try to heal my mind. And it has been an incredible learning journey. SCI immensely contributed to the development of my emotional intelligence. 

I still have a lot to learn but I am on the way, I am a roll. 

I am learning to let my mind accept everything that comes, to rest myself in the uncertainty, no anticipating, no waiting, not expecting.  

I now know that life is, first and foremost, about being fulfilled in as many ways as possible, but mostly to love and to be loved. SCI has deepened my friendships and relationships. 

And because all of that folks, I should thank SCI. I should be grateful. I should celebrate. 

Thank you SCI. Thanks for making me a better man. 

Happy World SCI Day everyone.

With Love, Roddy Xx

 
Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope into a better shape.
— Charles Dickens